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Monday, October 31, 2016

31

It's been 31 days of Breast Cancer Awareness Month and I don't have anything else to add. Actually I'm sure there's plenty more but I'm tired and worn out.

The good news is I have only 30 more days till I'm done with chemo. The bad news is I'm not sure I can complete it as prescribed. I thought I was getting sick this weekend but then I realized I just felt so toxic...like my body was quitting. Usually my week has highs and lows, with a slight rebound before I go in again for another round of chemo. This week there was no rebound. My headache got worse, to the point of making me vomit. I'm breaking out in rashes all over my legs. They itch like crazy. My throat hurts. I'm running a borderline fever. Very mild under normal circumstances, but there is nothing normal about a body going through chemo!

My oncologist will check my numbers tomorrow and if I'm well enough to tolerate it, my chemo dose will be reduced. If not, I'll have to wait and see. I just want to be done.

One of my best friends is flying in tomorrow, God willing. She'll be here a couple days to walk with me through whatever ends up happening.

I have much to be thankful for but I'm overwhelmed with the yuck.

Worn
Tenth Avenue North

Lyrics
I'm tired
I'm worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing
I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
'Cause I'm worn
I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Cause I'm worn
And my prayers are wearing thin
I'm worn even before the day begins
I'm worn I've lost my will to fight
I'm worn so heaven so come and flood my eyes
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Yes all that's dead inside will be reborn
Though I'm worn
Yeah I'm worn

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