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Monday, November 7, 2011

Counting my blessings

Something different…

There comes a time, when life is looking a little darker than usual, and a girl must tell it like it is.

This is that time for me…

Counting my blessings started last summer as a little challenge the Lord had placed on my heart to look at all He has blessed me with, rather than the ugliness surrounding me. It is so easy to get overwhelmed by the YUCKY STUFF. It has been therapeutic to see “the little things” that God daily blesses me with!

Last week, I spent a morning having 9 vials of blood drawn. It just so happened to be Halloween, a day I don’t celebrate, and would you believe that the gal who took my blood was….a vampire? Yes…

More tests on Friday…thankfully done by a normal human being. ☺

Today, I am overwhelmed by a sense of helplessness and physical pain. The myriad of symptoms my team of doctors have been trying to diagnose and treat have left me exhausted….I also underwent a nerve conduction test this morning (OUCH!) and was informed that surgery was necessary to avoid imminent and permanent nerve damage.

Lord, WHY can’t I just be normal??? WHY haven’t you healed me yet??? WHEN can I rest??? I’m so tired…WHEN will You heal me???…I’m tired of hurting…

*sigh*

In the midst of my rollercoaster ride that is my life, I have still been able to count my blessings.

#53…I am thankful for the husband God blessed me with.

#54…I am blessed by my tenderhearted children who see the pain in my eyes and know to hug gently, but sincerely.

#55…I am thankful for friends who ask “How are you?” and want an honest answer.

#56…I am thankful for my partners in prayer, those I pray with, and for, and those who lift me up in prayer too.

#57…I am thankful that when I go to see a new doctor and have to fill out the stack of new patient paperwork, that I can gracefully, thankfully, joyfully write homemaker as my occupation.

Father God, You bless me so completely. You know exactly what I need because You SEE me…Help me to see others with the love that You see them with. Thank you for my family and friends, who surround me with Your love and grace…Help me to extend Your grace to others, even when I don’t understand why I should. Thank you for calling me to be a mother, a wife, and to be home where You want me to do what You would have me do…Equip me for each day as You see fit. AMEN.

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