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Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Round 2

Here we go again. 

Wednesday morning I will go in for my second round of chemo. I'm hoping that this time goes as well as the last time. I'm trying to remember that last time I went in there "new" and having never done this before. Now at least I know what to expect. I'm bringing more ice water and tea. I'm bringing more to do. As of this evening I'm fasting again. Whatever it takes, right?

Earlier today I went to the sauna again. If my doctor had her way I'd be there 5 or 6 times a week, but once will have to do. I actually enjoyed it today, heat and all. I noticed something I missed the last time. My sweat didn't sting my skin like it used to. I think that's called healing. For years my body acted like it was allergic to my own sweat. This time it felt cleansing. I'm completely drenched in this pic. 

I mentioned I'm bringing something to do for chemo tomorrow. A quick trip to Goodwill this weekend and $6 later I have the makings of my own portable art studio. Drawing, painting, hand lettering, coloring. This will keep me busy for all the hours I'll be there this year. 
I was told recently that I "paint a pretty picture" and the question was asked if things are really going as well as I've shared here. Yes, things are going well. Yes, I'm hopeful and feeling great (at the moment). But the are also times that aren't so sunny. I don't share much of that because it's depressing to focus on the negative stuff. I've shared my loneliness and how I feel isolated. What more can I say? I had to ask for visitors during chemo tomorrow so I'm not sitting there alone all day. Thankfully I have a ride there and another visitor to come. I've had a hundred people tell me to call them if I need anything. I'll be honest, I'm not likely to call. Instead, read this and see if this helps:

My funds for my care outside of the doctor's office, those uncovered by my insurance but recommended for my healing, are running low. I have 5 more months of chemo to go and then reconstruction. I have no energy to plan a fundraiser for myself and don't feel right doing it. It's hard enough asking for donations, but here I am. Asking anyway.

And my hair started falling out today. I didn't know it would come out in huge fistfuls. I didn't know it would make me so emotional. But it did. And I sobbed in the shower as it clogged the drain. 

All these things are stressful to my family and my marriage. We welcome your prayers. 

So that's my complete picture, the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's a lot more fun to tell you how great I'm doing. 

1 comment:

  1. You got this girl!! God will never leave you or forsake you! .... (I love the portable art studio! ��)