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Friday, September 28, 2018

Here we go again

I've rewritten this in my head many times the last few weeks. There's really no better way to say it.
After spending this year struggling with one major pain or infection after another, I knew my body was fighting "something". I have trouble walking, standing, sitting, and sleeping due to the intensity of the pain. Every exam, every lab test, every scan has failed to show anything that explains my impaired immune system. That is, until I noticed a slight change in my labs atthe end of Aug. My tumor markers were steady for 2 years, between 11-13, with no change (and the following tumor cell tests continue to be zeros) and now they were 36. My doctor sent me in again to recheck those numbers. 62. She had me fasting for 7 days, water only, to starve and weaken those stubborn cells and reset my metabolism. 82. I asked for a PET scan, knowing my insurance denied coverage last time. This time they approved it. My scan lit up.
I knew I was at high risk for breast cancer recurrence. I was diagnosed with Stage IIB, grade 3 breast cancer May 2016. (The staging has to do with the size of my tumor and it spreading to my lymph nodes.) Grade 3 means the cells were larger and fast growing. Aggressive.
I now am Stage IV, metastatic breast cancer. The breast cancer cells woke up and spread to my bones. I had a bone biopsy taken from my back/hip yesterday. I started meds yesterday too. I'll be in some form of treatment for the rest of my life. (Remember not too long ago when my oncologist said NO CANCER? And those suspicious spots on my pelvis??)
And I am at peace with it all. I will fight this and do all I can to heal but God already knows my future and I rest in knowing his plans are good.
Your prayers are always appreciated.
I was thinking this morning about how we're heading into October, well known for its pink ribbon campaign for breast cancer awareness. I've never been more aware of it than now, have you?
I'm leaving in a few minutes to drive out to the Metolius River, about an hour north of Bend. I was invited to attend a breast cancer survivor fly fishing retreat and I'm looking forward to some quiet time by the river.
Please pray for my family. Once was hard enough. It hasn't even been 2 years since I finished treatment and here we go again. 

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