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Sunday, November 25, 2018

When fear sneaks in

Sometimes I think fear seeps into my heart unannounced. It throws off my balance and leaves me clutching for hope. Keeping my eyes focused on Christ when I'm distracted by my broken body is challenging on a good day... next to impossible on days like today.

I went to the ER today. Friday afternoon I started getting a sharp pain in my chest just before I was to teach a private paint party. It happened twice that day and a couple times the next day. When it happened again during church this morning, I decided to go in and get checked.

I had been feeling better the last week and a half. Not needing my cane or pain meds seemed like good news but then the last 3 days it's back and awful. Especially in my neck, ribs, hip, and pubic bone. Walking out of church this morning with baby steps and feeling like my pelvis was going to split in half. My neck feels like the weight of my head will snap it.

The ER ordered a CT scan today. No blood clots in my lungs but it's showing lesions in my ribs, humerus, and clavicle. Unless I'm mistaken, the cancer wasn't in those locations 2 months ago. 

This is my first week with tamoxifen 5x/ week. I declined this toxic hormone blocker for 2 years and now here I am... desperate and hurting and taking it against my better judgment. I'm due for another bone strengthening injection (denosumab) on Dec 10th. With the increasing tumor markers and further spreading, I'm concerned that this combo is not working and wanted to let you know that I'm currently looking into an alternative cancer treatment center in Mexico. If I am able to raise the funds to cover it, I leave in less than 2 months.
Nine months of telling my 2 oncologists that I *knew* something was wrong, only to discover the cancer had returned, spread, and was causing the pain I was feeling, I'm a little leery of trusting them to my care. Now today I'm finding that the cancer is continuing to spread...

Prayer request
It's been 2 months now since I started treatment after confirming that the cancer had returned and spread. I have huge concerns waiting another 2 months before I can go to the treatment center and that's only if I'm able to raise the funds. Please pray for God's mercy and healing, allowing me more time... Pray that we'll be able to raise the funds quickly... Pray for my family and loved ones who are right in the thick of this with me, worried and afraid. Pray for me to keep my eyes on Jesus and trust him in all things.

💕Tika

UPDATED TO ADD: 

For those that asked how they can donate, this link is to the FB fundraiser: http://bit.ly/2RgQvvY

If you prefer Paypal, that link is: www.paypal.me/twcancerfight 

Both are connected to my donation account at First Interstate Bank. Donations may also be made there with no fees. Acct#249106

Blog updates can be found here: ablessedseason.blogspot.com

Thank you💕

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