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Thursday, October 20, 2016

The future

I'm trying to keep my eyes fixed on the Lord. He alone knows how many days I have on this earth. Cancer or not, I can't change that but I can change how I look forward. I need to make plans, allow myself to dream, believe in them, even if they never happen. Some of them will.

I am looking forward to having my energy return so I can work again. I love my job. I get to share the gifts God has given me to encourage others and watch them grow. I look forward to not having my calendar full of doctor appointments. 41 days and I'll be done with chemo. Only 6 more rounds. I got this.

I've been looking at potential spaces for my art studio for months. In fact, I was looking last spring when my world stopped and I was told I have cancer. I was ready to sign a lease then. Now, with the end of chemo getting closer each day, it's all I can think about. I've been carefully watching for the right location. I've gone to see several but hadn't found the right one. Til this week. So now I'm praying. Join me, won't you?

But for now I'm going to sneak away with my beloved to celebrate our anniversary ❤ Looking forward to just being together and relaxing.

Round 10

I think this is my new favorite thing: walking with a friend during chemo. While I may get odd looks, more often then not I get smiles, laughter, and encouragement. Plus it's a great way to catch up with a friend and make a few new ones.

Photos:
IV gets connected to my port. The nurses here are all so sweet.

Thanks, Walking Buddy! This dear lady, we've been friends for 8 or 9 years. Now that our boys are all older, we don't see each other as often, but when we do it's just us and we always have a great time catching up. ❤

After my hyperbaric oxygen treatment, I wrapped up my day painting at a fundraiser held for me at local art studio. A sold out event doing what I love- can't be beat! Oh, maybe it can...In addition to the hosting artist, another local artist came to show her support too. Competitors or not, these ladies showed some seriously love today! Not to mention a lovely mix of our customers 💜

42 more days. 
6 more rounds.
I can do this!

I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
PHILIPPIANS 4:13 

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Anxiety

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?"
MATTHEW 6:25

I'm not sure why today was so hard. It just was. The truth is I'm feeling anxious and I can't shake it. Please pray.

I had my labwork done today and had my  appointment. I'm beginning to think these appointments are pointless. My oncologist and her PA never seem to be on the same page and it's frustrating. One tries to take me off the supplements I'm taking, the other offers pain meds. I was told today that their goal is to "minimize my suffering" so I can complete chemotherapy. I feel like I'm overloaded with toxins. My head hurts all the time. My body aches. I get my little "break" tomorrow. They'll give me steroids with chemo and my body will think it's just fine. 7 more rounds. 43 more days.

do not be anxious about your life...at times this seems nearly impossible. I want to get on with my life yet am fully aware that my own cancer awareness will be with me for the rest of my life. I'm praying for freedom from this, not knowing how God will answer but trusting that he will.

what you will eat or what you will drink...
I am so over thinking about my next meal. For someone with no appetite, I spend way to much time worrying about what to eat, will it be good for me, will it taste appealing. I eat to nourish my body. I feel like each bite is an offering of love to a body being abused by the chemicals coursing through my veins. I eat to give life back where cancer has been destroyed.

nor about your body, what you will put on...
It's a silly little thing to realize that nothing fits my forever changed body quite right. I was encouraged to buy a new dress for a photo shoot I was nominated for. At first I was excited at the thought of a little splurge to look and feel pretty, just in time for my anniversary, but now I'm wondering how I'll find the energy to go...will I be able to find something? Does it even matter?

I just want to sleep.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
MATTHEW 6:33

I'm seeking you, Lord...knowing you hear my cry...believing your promises...

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
MATTHEW 6:34


Monday, October 17, 2016

Tired and Rambling

I've always been a night owl. I'm trying to do better but my body doesn't cooperate sometimes. In order to heal, my body must rest.


It's gotten to the point where I'm looking forward to chemo day each week. For about 48 hours following chemo I have no sinus pressure, no headache, no fatigue. I'm so hopped up on goofballs (aka, steroids) that I feel invincible. Sometimes I foolishly give into that and do too much.

Sometimes I don't recognize myself in the mirror. Sometimes I don't know what God really wants me to learn from all this. Sometimes I get mad. Sometimes I'm sad. Mostly I'm just me. Sometimes I need to remember (and be reminded) who I belong to. 

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

PSALM 139:14 

I will...because I am. They are. And it does . Very well indeed. 

Sunday, October 16, 2016

45 days

Today it stuck me that in 45 days I will be sitting- no, WALKING-  through my last round of chemo. Only 7 more rounds. I can do this. 

This has been a most challenging time BUT I'm thankful for the joy God has given me along the way. I want to say that I'm ready for the healing to begin but in my heart I know that it has already begun. 

What will YOU be doing in 45 days? 

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Diet and Nutrition

"Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food."  -Hippocrates

I am a firm believer in the value of a healthy diet. What you eat can bring healing to a broken body or it can break a healthy one.

Rewind a several years-
After years of chronic pain, fatigue, and several auto immune disorders, I gave up on my conventional doctors that only wanted to offer me more pharmaceuticals. It got to the point that I couldn't tell the difference between the original symptoms and the side effects from the many medications they'd prescribed. I had my doctor wean me slowly off of everything while I made a plan I could commit to. I'd been doing my research and taking notes, slowly implementing changes along the way. It was time to commit to it 100% and I did.  I was not digesting the good healthy food I was eating and was malnourished (my doctor's words) and morbidly obese (also my doctor's words). Time for change.
Gradually my body healed. And it started in my gut.

Earlier this year-
I was in the best health of all my adult years when I received my cancer diagnosis in May. I was exercising regularly, eating well, and pain free 95% of the time. I was building my business and thriving, doing what I love.
When I heard "cancer", it didn't take long to look again to what I needed to do to bring healing. I did more research, this time looking specifically for cancer-fighting information. I got connected with doctors who would support and advise me on this road. They've been essential to helping me sort through the "factory-produced" one-size-fits-all care offered through conventional medicine. I already knew that was not for me.

And now-
My diet is focused on getting the nutrients my body needs in with every bite. This does include supplements and vitamins. Intermittent fasting has been an important part of my treatment, as well as fasting going into chemo.
Take a look:
On Monday, my first meal of the day (midmorning) is fresh organic veggies that I've juiced myself and thrown in the blender with frozen berries, half an avocado, vitamin C crystals, and collagen. This smoothie washes down a handful of vitamins and supplements (vitamin D3, turmeric, and more) plus one medication. Dinner consists of more veggies, usually a salad, and a small portion of "clean" meat.   I have a few more supplements (immune system booster, melatonin, selenium, etc.) I take at night and a second dose of my medication. I avoid dairy and most grains right now. No sugar, only low glycemic fruits and veggies. My carbs are kept to a minimum. Trust me, there's science behind this. Want to know more? Just ask me😊
Tuesday, the day before I go into chemo, my integrative oncologist now has me going into ketosis. (Previously, I was in a full fast for 36+ hours, leading up to and going into chemo.) I still don't eat till midmorning, as part of my intermittent fast (13-14 hours starting the night before), but this time I have less protein and more healthy fats. No juicing on Tuesday. Dinner is ketogenic and light.
Wednesday is chemo day. I don't eat anything till my ketogenic dinner (like Tuesday's meals). I like this better than when I didn't eat at all on chemo days!
Thu-Sun look just like Monday.

Oh, and my doc says I can drink my coffee. Bless her!!

Friday, October 14, 2016

To mammo or not to mammo?

I mentioned before that mammograms have become a controversial topic. Should I or shouldn't I? I think it's important to know both sides so you can decide for yourself. Afterall, I've declared true awareness and education to be my mission for breast cancer awareness month.

Just remember, I'm not a doctor so I'm totally unqualified to give medical advice. I'm just a warrior in the trenches sharing my research. As a longtime homeschool mom with a great love for learning, I typically dig deep, compare information, and always consider the source of that information. And I pray. Do with it what you will, my friends.

Just a few mammography facts to consider for yourself:

☆ One of the largest and longest studies of mammography to date, involving 90,000 women followed for 25 years, found that mammograms have absolutely NO impact on breast cancer mortality. Read more from the BMJ (formerly the British Medical Journal).

☆ Ionizing radiation (that's what mammograms are) used to discern breast tumors is a risk factor for the development of breast cancer. Say what?? And, if you do have a malignant tumor, the crushing compression (mammogram) of your breast could cause it to spread. Dr Mercola talks about it in this article. It can be even riskier for women with the BRCA gene mutation because they are typically advised to have more frequent mammograms, thus exposing them to more radiation when they are already genetically prone to be at risk for developing breast cancer. How does this make sense?

☆ Despite what certain organizations and colorful campaigns would have you believe, mammograms do not prevent breast cancer. They detect tumors, once they are sizable enough to detect, but they do not prevent you from getting tumors in the first place. (Source: Love, Susan, Dr. Susan Love’s Breast Book, 3rd ed. , Perseus Publishing: MA. 2000; p. 125.) I have this book if you're interested in reading it.

☆ Mammograms can miss more than 25% of all breast cancers,known as “false negatives.” Additionally, “false positive” results can occur when a mammogram finds something in the breast that, on biopsy, proves not to be cancer. Source: National Center for Biotechnology Information.  I can tell you from personal experience that the stress and anxiety these women experience is identical whether cancer is confirmed or not.

☆ Other options, often unknown include MRIs and thermography. MRIs give a more detailed image than a mammogram with less radiation exposure but they typically aren't recommended because they cost more. I had an MRI done to get a clearer picture of what was going on, at the suggestion of my integrative oncologist. It revealed a second tumor that the mammo and ultrasound did not. It also showed the spread to my lymph nodes. Thermographic scanning, digital infrared imaging, is another option to consider, either as an alternative or in addition to conventional methods. Here's a great comparison of these options.

There is so much to consider yet you'll only hear the pink campaign's clarion call to get a mammogram this month. Next Friday Oct 21 is National Mammogram Day. I hope that between now and then you'll take the time to do some research and decide for yourself.