Firstborn

"For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
  Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well."

~Psalm 139:13-14

12 years ago...
My husband and I were sent home from the hospital with another "not yet". I had been having strong contractions for days (weeks), but getting nowhere. The doctor I saw that day wasn't my regular doctor and when he sent the nurse in to give me a shot to stop the contractions, I naturally freaked out. Please don't send me home again...

BUT... they did.

While we had been at the hospital, it continued to snow so much we couldn't get up our road to go home (ahh, the joys of living in the mountains!), so we had to spend the night at my dad's house. I was so glad my sister and her girls were visiting him at the time. I needed her calm reassurance, her prayers. After another sleepless night, morning finally came and back to the hospital we went. My regular doctor took one look at me and set me up for yet another ultrasound. Something's not right here...

"Your baby is in distress."

Had the alternate doctor taken the time to check me properly, he would have discovered that I had almost no fluid left for my little boy. This long-awaited child was past ready to meet the world. After two prior miscarriages, I was terrified that we would come this far only to have something go wrong.

But God...
...had His hand on me, even then. I did not know the Lord back then...had never experienced His perfect peace. I didn't know to call on Him...that He would help me.

I look back on that day and can clearly see the LOVE my Heavenly Father had for me, even before I knew I needed Him. He carried me through that day and was there when my baby, my firstborn son, was delivered into my arms...perfect in every way. My Father gave me a gift that day and I never even said thank you...

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for Your Firstborn Son…and for mine. Thank you for loving me even when I didn’t know Your Name. Thank you for this gift of a child…so strong, full of joy and life. Thank you for the privilege of raising him. Thank you for the lessons you have taught me about Your Love through my love for him. Thank you for the grace you so generously pour out on my parenting efforts, guiding me, correcting me, keeping me on the path that leads only to You. Continue to lead me, as I lead him.

In Jesus' Name, I thank you. Amen.

I love this kid...and the young man he's becoming!