When things get weird

I've never in my life taken so many pictures of myself! I'm finding it necessary though to keep track of the changes that are constantly happening to my body. Besides, they're cheap entertainment. To me anyway! 😉

My eyebrows are thinning considerably now. My eyelashes too. I had to stop wearing mascara last week since it clumps together what little I have left and it looks like there's only 3 lashes. Plus more fall out when I take it off at night. No need to help them along.

Oddly enough, I'm getting peach fuzz AND stubble on my scalp. My sister says that just shows how stubborn I am. My hair keeps trying to grow even as it's falling out! I'm still waiting for my leg hairs to fall out so I can stop shaving. No such luck as of yet. 😂 But look at all those freckles! I've never had those before. 

My fingernails have a unique ombre look to them. I call them my chemo meters. I'm guessing the color will change all the way to the tips by the time I'm done with chemo. That's about the rate they've been changing. 

All this is just one big game of the chemo wheel of fortune. Each week I spin to see what new side effect will pop up! 

Chemo day

I have reached the halfway mark.
I have reached the halfway mark.
I HAVE REACHED THE HALFWAY MARK!!

Today I completed my 8th round of chemo and I have 8 more to go. I finally feel like I can see a light at the end of this long, dark tunnel. I know some of you have been praying. I can feel the protective covering over my body, mind, and soul. God is so good.

BODY: The plethora of side effects are still plaguing my body but I'm doing everything I can to manage them. The recent nosebleeds I've been having prompted a trip to the emergency room last week and now I'll be seeing an ear, nose, and throat specialist to make sure we're not missing a hidden problem. This also led to me reevaluating my ability to work right now. I simply can't. No matter how much I love it. No matter how much the income helps. My attention needs to fully be focused on my battlefield.
MIND: The depression I have been fighting is lessening and I'm accepting it as it is. I'm learning to let myself just feel what I'm feeling instead of trying to put on a good face. (I did that for years with my chronic pain issues and look where that got me. Nowhere.) The artifical menopause caused by chemo and the steroids that go with it are making it worse. I am so thankful for each of you that heard my cry and reached out to me these last few weeks. You are my Aaron and my Hur. (Read Exodus 17:8-16 if you're not familiar with the reference.) 😉
SOUL: How can this whole journey NOT bring me closer to God? I have had every emotion- sadness, anger, grief, joy, love, and gratitude -flow through me. I have questioned everything but am learning to accept it AS IS...the same way he accepts me. I am a mess and I know it. There are some things I can do something about, and I do, but the rest is in God's hands. I am in God's hands.

And remember, when you see PINK this month, PRAY. Before you make a PINK purchase, think. If you can't be sure your dollars are truly supporting breast cancer patients or research, consider donating that money to someone like me, deep in the trenches. I can tell you exactly where it's going.

Ready...set...💗pray!

The High Cost of Quality Care

If you've been reading my posts this month, you know that I'm asking you all to pray whenever you see PINK. 💗 I promise you will see it just about everywhere you go this month, with corporate promises of a portion of your purchases going towards breast cancer research. You already know that my promise will play out ad nauseum. As far as those corporate promises...well, I urge you to just make sure they're following through on that and not just jumping on a marketing bandwagon.

Speaking of dollars, my bank just called. The $600 check I wrote last week to pay my amazing integrative doctor had come in for processing. My cancer fighting fund was $25 short. Knowing the importance of paying this out, my bank called me rather than bouncing the check. The reality is I'm out of money for the treatment I'm receiving. I need your help. This is the only doctor that is willing to customize my care to my body, my cancer, my wellness and recovery. She is not covered by my insurance.

Tomorrow I go in for my 8th round of chemo. That leaves 8 more. I'll be halfway done!! I'm supposed to follow chemo with another session in the hyperbaric oxygen chamber. That's another $100. Times 9. And that's just one example. I have to see my dentist next week, per my oncologist's orders, but don't have coverage for that. $$$$$

Please please please, if you're thinking about buying that cute pink mug at your local coffee shop, or that pink shirt to support breast cancer survivors like me, please consider donating directly to my cancer battle instead. 100% of it goes directly into my account for treatments like these.

So here you go ➡💗⬅ a little pink reminder for you. It's time to pray.

My cancer

For those that don't know me personally, this post is for you.

I am Tika, a recently turned 42 year old mom in southern Oregon. I homeschool my 2 teenage sons and have my own small business.

In May 2016, I was diagnosed with Stage IIB breast cancer after finding a lump in my breast a few months earlier. Why did I wait to get it checked out? I had been getting yearly mammograms since I was 36, and had already been in twice for what turned out to be harmless cysts. I assumed this was another and didn't rush in. I had invasive carcinoma with both ductal and lobular features in my right breast (translated: I had cancer cells in both the milk ducts and lobes of my breast). The cancer cells were not contained and an MRI revealed that there was a second smaller tumor and at least one affected lymph node.
40 days after diagnosis, I had a double mastectomy and 12 lymph nodes removed. Shortly after that, I began 4 rounds of adriamycin and cytoxan. I just had round 3 of taxol. I have 9 more rounds to go.

Prior to my cancer diagnosis, I had been enjoying the best health of my adult life. I had suffered chronic pain and fibromyalgia for many years, but through dietary and lifestyle changes (and lots and lots of prayer), I'd experienced healing. I was living a healthy and active life. I was eating a clean and nutrient dense diet. I was exercising at least 3 times a week and loving it. I had little need for the many medications I'd previously been on and considered them toxic to my body.

And then I found out I had cancer...

I am not a doctor. I am not qualified to give anyone medical advice. BUT I can share from my personal experience and that is what I plan to do. If you've missed any of my posts this month for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, please click here. And remember, let the flood of PINK you see everywhere this month be a reminder to pray. I believe strongly in the power of prayer. 

Photo: This is me and my husband, Charlie, the day before I went in for surgery. We spent the afternoon dancing at a wedding. Celebrating love and life...

What and Why?

Q: What is breast cancer and why should I be aware?

A: The American Cancer Society says  "Breast cancer starts when cells in the breast begin to grow out of control. These cells usually form a tumor that can often be seen on an x-ray or felt as a lump. The tumor is malignant (cancerous) if the cells can grow into (invade) surrounding tissues or spread (metastasize) to distant areas of the body."

In layman's terms (mine), breast cancer is a bunch of mutant cells that don't die off like they're supposed to. They keep multiplying. They invade and take over and can spread out. They are resistant and can be aggressive. Sounds like a bad sci-fi alien movie. Space invaders taking over the planet.

And it can happen to just about anyone. Too often we are lead to believe that breast cancer is a genetic disease. It can be. But if you don't have a family history of it, please don't be tempted to think it can't happen to you. It can. Young women, old women, and all women in between. White women, black woman, rich women, poor women, and...men.

Despite the growing number of breast cancer diagnoses each year, all the PINK hype of fundraising in October, and all the organizations and events out there claim to be searching for a cure...we still don't have one.

Friends,
This month you will see PINK just about everywhere you go. At the grocery store, the department store, in your mailbox, at your favorite coffee stand. Some of you have already messaged me that you will wear pink in my honor this month, to show your support. First of all, THANK YOU. I'm honored that you would do that for me. Second, would you think twice before making that PINK purchase and ask yourself if you know where that money is really going? Third, and most importantly, please say a prayer each time you see PINK this month. Let it be a reminder to pray for all those affected by breast cancer, warriors and their families. Pray for the healing and restoration of their bodies, minds, and souls. Pray for a cure💗 

October is

October is...
Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Like most people, I am aware of all the pink gear everywhere I go. I know what it represents but since this year it has personal significance, I'm going to take some time to share with you from my perspective "in the trenches".

"Breast Cancer Awareness Month (BCAM), also referred to in America as National Breast Cancer Awareness Month (NBCAM), is an annual international health campaign organized by major breast cancer charities every October to increase awareness of the disease and to raise funds for research into its cause, prevention, diagnosis, treatment and cure. The campaign also offers information and support to those affected by breast cancer." If you're inclined to, you can read more about it here.

This year, I am pledging to participate this campaign. I am not a representative or affiliated in any way with the various breast cancer charities out there. Still, I am committing myself to increase awareness of breast cancer by sharing with all of you, my supportive friends and family...and those you've invited here. Since I'm currently in "battle mode", any funds I raise will be for my own research, cause, prevention, diagnosis, treatment, and cure of my breast cancer. If you're already interested in contributing to my fund, you can do so here.

October is just getting started and I have so much to share. I hope you'll come back each day and invite your friends and family.
God bless❤

Breathe

A small glimpse of my weekly steps towards beating cancer:

Chemo went very well this week. Done quickly and painlessly for the most part. I even had a little tea party with today's visitor ❤🍵

All these bags. Just for me. *deep breath*

💉

Only 10 more chemotherapy infusions to go!

And then...

After chemo, I spent an hour in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber. My integrative oncologist has recommended this therapy to compliment my chemo infusions. *breathe in, breathe out* Pure oxygen filling my lungs and aiding the healing process. 

"Hyperbaric oxygen therapy (HBOT) is currently being utilized in conjunction with conventional treatments, including radiation and chemotherapy, to attain optimal dosages for patients, stimulate tumor regression and reduce the side effects of treatments. Cancer thrives in hypoxic or low-oxygen environments and HBOT has been shown to increase these oxygen levels to weaken tumors and reduce their aggressiveness. Studies have demonstrated the benefits of HBOT for cancer with the following:

Enhance "Conventional" Cancer Therapies & Treatments: increases oxygen levels in tumors, better radiation therapy results, improves chemotherapy outcome, enhances brain treatment, decreases tumor drug resistance, allows for optimal therapy dosage to be attained, improves surgical results" [More info on HBOTherapy I received, please visit their website at http://www.curesauna.com/hyperbaric-oxygen-therapy/] 

Additionally, I am going to this same location, Cure Sauna, for my infrared sauna sessions, also recommended by my wonderful integrative oncologist. These high temp sessions help my body to sweat out toxins, improve cell health, and aid in relaxation, stabilizing blood pressure, and pain reduction.

I started physical therapy earlier this month with the lymphadema specialist. She is helping to loosen up the tightness across my chest, increase my range of motion in my affected arm, and reduce risk of lymphadema. This consists of deep tissue massage across my chest, low-light laser treatment along my scar tissue, stretches, and hooking me up to a lymphatic pump once a well to help my lymph system work properly. I'm particularly interested in reducing the tightness so that my reconstructive surgeries next year will go smoothly. 

After seeing a naturopath last month, I shared the intensive dietary restrictions that were added to my already strict diet. Since my diagnosis in May, I had been doing very well with a cancer fighting diet geared towards keeping me as healthy as possible during treatment, namely chemo. My integrative oncologist had approved of my research and resulting diet, made a few tweaks and encouraged me to continue. She also approved of me having a naturopath on my care team. Neither of us anticipated that he would run extensive food allergen panels 2 days AFTER a round of chemo. Needless to say, we will not be using this information and find that it is likely highly inaccurate. An expensive but valuable lesson, to be sure. *sigh* I am now back on the previous eating plan and, at the request of several of you, I'll write that out in detail soon. Meanwhile, a big thank you to all that have brought meals and shared organic produce with us. It sure helps take the burden of cooking off of Charlie especially 😊  

For those of you that have contributed to our donation fund to help with medical expenses, a large portion has gone to my integrative oncologist and these recommeded therapies (only my medical oncologist and my physical therapist are covered by my insurance). It's also covered genetic testing that helped me avoid unnecessary treatments and helped customize my care plan to the ones best suited to fight my particular cancer in my particular body. I can't say thank you enough!!

One last thought...

Next month is well known as Breast Cancer Awareness month. Very soon you'll start seeing a lot of pink ribbons and silly slogans meant to inform the general public. Your favorite stores and brands and even coffee stands will sell millions of dollars worth of products while advertising that a portion of those dollars will go towards finding a cure. I'd like to encourage you to really consider if that's what's happening the next time you see pink. 

Thank you!

💖 Tika