Moving ahead

Last Friday I got my drains removed. Hallelujah!! And that meant I could sleep in my own bed and wear normal clothes. It also meant I could shower without having to sit on a bench cradling the drain tubes in my lap.

👕 Monday I saw my surgeon for my post surgery followup appointment. Everything is healing nicely and I've been released to move freely. He said I must be Superwoman. He doesn't really hear patients choose to skip the pain meds, yet  I was truly doing well and healing faster than he expected. I asked him if I get a t-shirt 😉 He laughed. I like Dr Faught. I get to go visit him again on July 8th to have my port put in for chemo. Maybe I'll get my t-shirt then. Ha ha!😂

✂ While the last 2 weeks have been spent healing and resting, the next 2 weeks are going to fly by. I will be going in for ct scan today and an echocardiogram next week. Tonight I'm cutting my hair short to ease the transition to chemo baldness. My hair has already been falling out due to stress, so this is actually a relief. Still working on the stress part though. As I said, I get my port put in next Friday. Chemo will start July 12th.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
~ Proverbs 3:5

About chemo...
I had hoped to avoid this altogether, but after discussing this with my doctors and praying with my family, I've decided to go ahead with it. My integrative oncologist is refining my treatment and customizing it to my body and my specific cancer. No "one size fits all" treatment from the factory assembly line. She has spelled out a very detailed plan for me. I will also be seeing a naturopath to help monitor and support my immune system.

🗓 My chemo treatment will have 2 phases totalling 20 weeks. The first one will last 2 months and I will go in every other week for 3-4 hours at a time. The second will be weekly for 12 weeks. If I've done the math correctly, it looks like I'll be finishing chemo just before Christmas.

💉 Charlie and I went to my chemo education class last week. It was decided then that Charlie will not be accompanying me to my chemo appointments. Needles make him sick and I can't afford to be worried about him going down while I'm hooked up to an IV. As we get closer, I'll be looking  to fill that roll, but not the full 4 hours. Just a visit so I can rest too.

Other updates:
🐟 My dad and my stepmom are taking advantage of the time he has before his surgery (to remove the colon cancer from his body) by going on a fishing trip in their RV. Please pray that it is a restful time for both of them.

⛺ We are also taking advantage of the time I have before starting chemo by going on our church's camping trip this weekend. Please pray that it is a restful time for our family too. I'm looking forward to a little campfire fellowship.

We got our car back a couple days ago. No problems so far. Thank you, Lord! We were instructed to drive it for a few weeks and if it's truly fixed, we'll owe $160. (They replaced the same part Charlie replaced while we were in California a month ago.) If it's not fixed, we're to bring it back again. Please pray that it is fixed.

I posted on Facebook the other day that we are looking for a few things. These are the ones were still trying to track down:
• Guest room for 1 (Medford) available for a few weeks, possibly a month, towards the end of July/early August
• 2BD house or downstairs apartment <$850/mo (Medford area)*
• Market umbrella &/or stand for sale

*Don't worry, we are not moving. We have a family member moving to the area but cannot host them in our home. The guest room is temporary while they look for a place.

Last of all, this photo: A friend of my sister's makes these cool handpainted  signs. She posted this one recently and I'm hoping she has more soon. A couple days before I saw this, my stepmom had sent me an encouraging email with "Chin up! Chest out!" in the subject line. As a daughter of the One True King, I feel this sign said it all and the daily reminder would be helpful 💗

Good news!

Good news! Charlie starts a new job on Monday!! I'm so happy for him and this new venture. And God's timing, as always, is perfect 😊 He's been applying to this company since before he left Home Depot over 2 years ago. The position that was offered to him is a perfect fit for his skills and experience, so we're looking forward to him getting started. Please pray for a smooth transition for him!

With all the lost hours Charlie had the past couple weeks in order to take me to appointments, during my hospital stay, and then a slow work week, we were coming up very short for rent. Praise report: God has provided. A generous friend has taken it upon herself to cover that gap and then some.

With Charlie starting his new job and our car still in the shop, I'm going to all need a little help with getting to appointments and preparing meals. I can't drive yet anyway and I don't have the doctor's okay to lift more than 1lb. I think my empty pots and pans weigh more than that! Here is the link for helping with meals http://www.takethemameal.com/meals.php?t=DCSS0960. (At this point, it's looking like chemo will start mid-July, though we're waiting on a few more test results before confirming that. If we do move forward with it, I'm looking at 5 months of chemo treatment and reconstruction after that.)

I have an appointment on Monday that I'll need a driver for. (We have a loaner car from the mechanic, so Ryan can't do it.) If you are available 10:30-12:30ish and willing to do that, please let me know. I'm trying to not keep asking the same people for help. I also need to find someone to take Nathan to his OT appointment Wednesday morning. This will be a bigger challenge since he won't go with just anyone. If you offer and he says no, please just try and understand it's  nothing personal 💕 Thank you!

More good news! I got my drains out yesterday and I'm happy to say that they're already healing up nicely. Much less pain and discomfort AND I was able to sleep in my own bed last night instead of the recliner. Yay!! 😊

I think that's it for now. I'm looking forward to trying to go to church tomorrow and that makes me happy too.
Thank you to all who have helped us so far! Your love and support had made this challenging time a little easier ❤

One last thing-
I shared this (photo) the other day, but I know not all of you reading this are on Facebook. It's totally worth sharing again:

A dear friend, one more precious than she knows, sent me some good reading material this week. Perfect timing ❤ Here's a bit of it:
God's plan is..
Perfect
Exhaustive
For my ultimate good
Secret

(From a booklet called Behind a Frowning Providence by John J. Murray)

Be sure to listen to the hymn this book was based on. It's beautiful. https://youtu.be/VtnapVDuPfg

Waiting

Wave after wave...they keep coming and they keep crashing. Treading water is not an option, I must keep swimming. I'm tired and I'm drowning... I just want to rest. I want to breathe but I can't keep my head above water. I just want to get out past the break...or back on dry land.

This week has been filled with much testing. Car trouble...again. Still not sure the problem is resolved. Charlie had planned to take 2 days off for my surgery last week and got 5. Work is slow. It's Wednesday now and he's done for the week. He starts a new job on Monday, praise the Lord, but it'll be rough to pay rent next month with so many missing days on his paycheck...and me not working.  Oh, and yesterday our landlord notified us that he has to raise the rent. Really?? What next?

My oncology appointment yesterday left me overwhelmed. Chemo...
Another wave crashes...

Today I went to the doctor's twice to get my drains checked. My right side has been partially clogged since Friday. Finally, it's clear and the swelling is going down.

I feel like I'm just waiting. Wading and waiting. Waiting to heal. Waiting to hear results. Waiting... I can't tell if it's me waiting on the Lord or him waiting on me. I think it's both actually. Have I been trying to do this all on my own? He's waiting for my total surrender. I'm waiting for him...

And then last night my pastors came to pray for us. And shared this...

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When evildoers assail me to eat up my flesh, my adversaries and foes, it is they who stumble and fall. Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war arise against me, yet I will be confident. One thing have I asked of the Lord , that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to inquire in his temple. For he will hide me in his shelter in the day of trouble; he will conceal me under the cover of his tent; he will lift me high upon a rock. And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me, and I will offer in his tent sacrifices with shouts of joy; I will sing and make melody to the Lord . Hear, O Lord , when I cry aloud; be gracious to me and answer me! You have said, "Seek my face." My heart says to you, "Your face, Lord , do I seek."
Psalms 27:1‭-‬8

This is my cry.

But it ends with this...

Wait for the Lord ; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord !
Psalms 27:14

I will wait for the Lord. I will seek his face. I will trust him. He is faithful.

Counting blessings

Today is the first day I've struggled with keeping my chin up. It's Father's Day and I can't go to church with my family or the picnic in the park to follow. I missed the concert they went to last night too, both to volunteer and to enjoy the show. Too many moving bodies for my tender wounds right now. My sister-in-law left this morning to head home after tending to me and my family all week. I didn't sleep well last night due to discomfort in my arms and chest. No surprise, but no relief either. Constant is the reminder that my life will never be the same.

I have much to be thankful for though, many blessings to count.
The sunshine on my skin...again.
Ice packs.
Flexible shower heads.
Vegetables in season. Berries.
My playful puppy chasing birds, butterflies, and bees.
The too tall dandelions dancing in the slight breeze. They'll likely be mowed down soon, but for now they are feeding the bees.
Flowers blooming.
Family that loves me.
Friends that do too.
Cold drinks.
Hot homemade salsa.
Good movies.
Great books.

Thank you, Lord, for helping me see past my complaining to the goodness you give all around me ❤

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. To my dad, my first love. To my husband, father of my children, my beloved. And to my Heavenly Father, giver of life, my Healer and my Shelter, my Rock.

Home again and healing

It's hard to put into words what I am feeling right now, but I wanted to give a little update.

Physically, I am sore and tired, but not nearly as much as I'd anticipated. It's strange to think my surgery was only a couple days ago, yet I've been up and mobile since the day after. Thankful... Other than the reaction to the adhesive on my bandages, there have been no problems. Even that is healing now too, no more blistering.

Mentally and emotionally, I am well. Overwhelmed by the whole idea of battling cancer, but so thankful I don't have to do more than rest right now. I have time to study and weigh my options and more importantly, to pray. I've been asked if I'm grieving or allowing this all to sink in...I am fully aware of the magnitude of all this, yet I am content to trust God's plan for me. That does not mean I'm sitting here doing nothing.

I have learned this week that doctors and nurses are not created equal. I had some angels caring for me this week, as well as a few I hope to never enter my room again. I also learned that they really don't like when you opt not to take your meds, regardless of the reason. This made coming home yesterday that much sweeter. While I appreciate their medical knowledge, I believe that there are effective natural methods for pain relief and healing. If ice packs and arnica are working for me, I should not be pressured to take narcotics. To each their own...

That leads me to the following-
If you personally have had cancer, would you mind sharing with me? I have a few questions in particular, email me if you don't mind at tikaweeks@gmail.com:
What kind of cancer did you have?
When were you diagnosed?
What did your treatment entail?
How long have you been cancer-free?
Anything else you'd like to share our things you wished you'd done differently?

Thank you!

For those that have asked about my diagnosis, I have included an image to help explain. I have been diagnosed with invasive carcinoma with ductal and lobular features in my right breast with probable spreading to my axillary lymph nodes. What does this mean? Well, it's like this-
Invasive means it's not contained to just one area of my breast.
Carcinoma is cancer.
With ductal and lobular features means that the cancer cells are present in both my milk ducts and in the surrounding lobes.
My tumor was approximately 1 inch in diameter and there was no sign of it in June 2015 when I had a routine mammogram. 6 months later, it was large enough to feel through my clothing. Check yourself, ladies! Due to the size of my tumor and rate of growth, the second smaller one they found in my MRI and suspicious lymph nodes, and family history, I opted to have both breasts removed rather than a conservative lumpectomy. My age also played into this decision since my tumor is estrogen and progesterone receptor positive (these hormones make my cancer grow) and I'm not yet in menopause. This was the easier decision to make, though drastic.
The next step is the hard part...

And the part that will hit us hardest financially. 

Again, all donations are appreciated ❤

www.paypal.me/twcancerfight 

My help comes from the Lord

I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord , who made heaven and earth.
Psalms 121:1‭-‬2

I didn't anticipate the bumps in the road yesterday, but I am glad to have that  part behind me. Some miscommunications that left me feeling insignificant, just a number on a chart. As the patient, I felt I should have been notified that my surgery time had been pushed 2 hrs later. Surely a 6 hour wait, especially one while fasting, warranted a quick conversation. That on top of the wrong information given to me when my surgery was scheduled, made for a frustrating morning. By the time I was finally on the same page as the rest of my medical team, it was time for surgery.

As Charlie shared, surgery went well. My right breast, the one with the tumors, ended up being a radical mastectomy. In addition to the breast tissue, the doctor had to remove my sentinel node plus 8-10 more  12 more. My left breast was a simple mastectomy, breast tissue only. No complications.

My pain is mostly tenderness at the surgery site, but it's not as bad as I had expected right after surgery. I was able to sleep without assistance and that is a good thing! I've been listening to hymns all night and ocean sounds. (It was a perfect way to block out the sounds of a bustling hospital.) Thank you, Lord!

My urine is blue. I know, TMI, but I found it interesting and there's a couple of you out there that night too. 😉

I'm here at the hospital till tomorrow at least. Visitors are welcome as long as I'm not sleeping. Thank you to the visitors I had yesterday to help pass the time and bring me lovely flowers ❤

Lastly, thank you all for the cups of coffee sacrificed yesterday to donate to my medical fund. God bless each one of you!

www.paypal.me/twcancerfight/5

Showtime

It's showtime. I'm ready. I'm here at the hospital.
I can only attribute the peace I'm feeling to the hundreds of prayers bring lifted up on my behalf. Thank you. God is holding me in the palm of his hand and all is well. All will be well.

Today, we're asking friends and family to skip their cup of coffee (or whatever it is you splurge on) and consider donating that $5 to my medical fund.
www.paypal.me/twcancerfight/5
Thank you!

Charlie will update later today. Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers ❤